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Thursday, October 30, 2003

STALKING

So you see, I was out a few weeks ago stalking Paul Krugman (because he's got that cool goatee/beard thing going) and I ran into Donald Luskin, who I had noticed from previous PK stalking trips. Luskin was mad as a hatter, mad as Richard Ramirez, and seemed downright homicidal because he had been outed by Atrios and he said he was going to sue. I said to him that it wasn't a good idea to start trying to sue bloggers because, for one, it is just a lame and stupid attempt to get some publicity and, perhaps, generate some hits for his website. I also mentioned that the PK stalking community (which included myself (love that beard!), Luskin, this guy Jerry (who also sports a PK beard) who wears a t-shirt he hand-painted with a portrait of PK and two or three other regulars who may or may not work for the Justice Department) would not be happy if we all got involved in some lawsuit that would deprive us of some premium stalking time. My wife doesn't like the fact that I'm gone for unexplained stretches as it is, I don't need to get called in to testify by Atrios's lawyers as a witness to Luskin's rabid mutterings about PK. You see, in the PK stalking community, he's something of a leper because the rest of us really dig PK (well, the JD guys maybe not so much) but we certainly wouldn't say bad things about the man. Anyhow, Luskin starts frothing at the mouth at me and calling me names and screaming that I must be Atrios (which is patently ludicrous because I get like one millionth of the hits that Atrios does and nobody's going to be buying me a new laptop anytime soon...hell, I wouldn't even rate a floppy disk right now). So I quietly step away from crazy Luskin and sidle over to the JD guys and mention that Luskin told me that he had given money to Al Queda if they would kill PK and that mybe Luskin should be sent off to Guantanamo for questioning. The JD guys tried to pretend that they weren't JD guys, but I could have sworn I heard one of them calling it in when I took a break from stalking PK to stalk him (he had a wicked cool mustache). All I know is, when I came back, Luskin was gone...

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Monday, October 27, 2003

Link

Have you ever seen such a MISERABLE FAILURE? If you've got a page you should attach this link to the words MISERABLE FAILURE.

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Saturday, October 25, 2003

BOB'S FRIDGE

If you haven't been, you must stop by and check out what's inside. Yet another fine addition to my links which have recently added NTodd's blog, which has become a favorite of mine.

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VISITOR #1000 HAS COME AND GONE

Alas, no one claimed the prize, a brand new copy of the Indiana Jones DVD set. I will have much better prizes for future hit milestones so keep coming back!

On a side note, thanks to all who have helped make 1000 hits possible. Your slow but steady visitations have made me feel only slightly ignored. ¬°Gracias!

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Friday, October 24, 2003

VISITOR #1000

I am eagerly awaiting my thousandth hit. Who will it be? If you think it's you, let me know. I may have a prize for ya...(but you must tell me why you stopped by...)

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Wednesday, October 22, 2003

Elliott Smith Dead at 34

If you didn't know his music, go discover it. I rediscovered music through Elliott. He stabbed himself in the chest.

I just can't think of anything else to say.

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Saturday, October 18, 2003

FLUMMERY!

My word of the year.

(previous winner was "fuckmare" as in "Traffic today was a fuckmare.")

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Coutlerphobia

I know it sounds strange, but I'm afraid of Ann Coulter.

First off, she's scary looking. She's freaky and she shouldn't be allowed in public. She's a weird caricature of an atractive woman and she makes me just want to punch any woman who looks like her in the face just on the principle that it may, in fact, be her. Admit it. She scares you to look at her too.

Secondly, and more importantly, I'm afraid to read her rantings. Some blogger I enjoy sets me up with her all the time with an unidentified link saying "don't read this" like I'm not going to click. So I click. And there she is and I already get a twitch. For some reason, I start to read her flummery. I shouldn't but I do. And I start to seeth. Every word of her flummerous poison fils me with a bit more rage and I want to punch her in the face or write her an e-mail with the verbal equivalent of a punch in the face. I wish Strong Bad were real so he could go punch her in the face(which I'm sure he would...who wouldn't?) I keep reading and I just don't get it...I don't understand how people can read her and not want to punch her in the face. I mean everyone. Even the crazy conservatives. She's just that inane and I fear her because she makes me feel such inner violence that I want to drink or rage at the moon because I can't punch her in her scary twisted grotesque face.

Go to hell, Ann Coulter, you fuckmare! The hell of a billion punches in the face!

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HEAT WAVE

I was watching local news last night (something I normally never do unless there's a high speed chase...something about them high speed chases across LA freeways that just makes you want to stop and watch for hours on end) because I saw a small bit of footage showing a group of schoolchildren on a bus getting tumbled about. It was pretty horrifying and I genuinely wanted to know if they had all survived intact (I like kids...I'm trying to have one right now). Anyhow, before getting to the story of interest, I had to wade through Rape, Murder, Murder, Rape, Terrorism and weather (which, in the two words of the local hack, is a "Heat Wave"...no shit. It's mid October and I'm still wearing shorts and sandals...I need some cool. I like LA bit I like cool too...this sucks). Anyhow, the kids all survived intact. God bless em.

Still and all, I won't be venturing into local news again anytime soon. They make me want to retch.

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Monday, October 13, 2003

FAKE LETTER SCANDAL

Some of might have heard that a series of identical letters were sent with real soldiers names' on them to many hometown newspapers making it seem like these brave guys all have the same opinion on the war. But this cheap plot has been discovered and, just now, CNN has spun the story saying that while the soldiers admit to having not sent the letters saying how great things are in Iraq, they agree with the sentiment of those letters. So we should all relax because a thrid party news organization has confirmed that, while letters were fake, sentiments contained therein are valid. Phew! I should know better than to think if one lie has been told, no lie would be told to disavow the first one. I should know better than that...

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SICK AND TIRED

Hey, y'all. I've been stuck in this rotten cold for a few days now. The best part about it is my wife doesn't bother me so much ab out playing Soul Calibur II (if you have to play a video game, play this one...it's a lot of fun and horribly addicting). We've been having major printer issues this weekend and finally purchased our third printer this year (it seems that Epson printers do not like third party ink and get all stuck up). And, finally, I may be going back to work part time while finishing up this degree of mine.

But I will not forget the blog! We're going into an election year and there are so many things to be angry about and sometimes joke about that I can't let being sick and tired get in the way. After all, if Limbaugh could put up with his dehabilitating back pain long enough to play some golf and sit in a chair all day, the least I can do is laugh at his misfortune of having a servant who wanted to make a few more bucks than he was paying her by wearing a wire and going to the Enquirer. If the White House can concoct a new story everyday that some idiot buys the I can make a joke about how fucking dumb they are. (I know I've been rather profane of late, but these times call for a bit of nastiness and I can be nasty from time to time). But seriously, there are a lot of people in the blogworld keeping me well informed about things. Most of them are listed on the right of this page. Visit their sites if you want a bit more news. Read me if you want to know that someone is just as pissed as you and can occasionally joke about it even when he's so sick his wife's making him soup (and she makes good soup...even when its from a can, its better than your soup from a can because my wife made it and she's better than you and yours!).

So keep hoping for better things and for something to give and maybe people won't be too stupid this year. At the very least, you can be disappointed when Bush wins. But maybe he wont and times will seem less dire. I'm not quite ready for the apocalypse and neither should you be.

Feel better and I'll try to as well.

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Thursday, October 09, 2003

Governor Beefcake

It has happened. Many many Californians have shown that they really don't give a rat's ass about politics and that they think a freak show is better than a dull show. Give me dull and competent every day. I actually heard some idiot DJ yesterday allude the the idea that since the Assgrabber was elected, the allegations against him must be false and, subsequently the L.A. Times should be considered ficticious. People are, seriously, that fucking stupid and there is little that can be done to cure them. While the democrats are out looking for a silver lining to this fiasco or gently conceding that we must rally round the governor, I say fuck that shit. Our state was hijacked by republicans armed with a popular celebrity. If we're going to recall the new boss, we need an actor who is more popular than Arnold to be the democratic puppet.

Or we should find a state where people actually care about their vote...I can't think of one right now, but give me some time...

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Saturday, October 04, 2003

ARNOLD AND ENRON

Greg Palast has an article that, if given proper attention, like Clinton's indiscretions were, would conceptually bring down The Enronator once and for all. Most likely, it wont. People in California right now are just too fucking stupid to care about anything more than unfunny one liners from the idiot jock that's about to become our governor. It just goes to show you that people really don't know how to read and, if they do, they just don't give a damn. Anyone who votes for the recall is either selfish, stupid or corrupt.

Read Mr. Palast's article.

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LIMBAUGH

For the record:

I don't wish this man well. He's possibly one of the most reprehensible human beings ever to live and I hope he goes to jail and rots with some filthy dick up his ass and a fucking needle in his arm. I hope his degenerate followers discover their hero is a hypocritical jackass criminal and they must then question EVERYTHING he has ever said.

But it wont happen. He'll just blame the SCLM and take cover and weather the storm.

Just watch.

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From Eschaton (because it bears repeating)

Just to Be Clear

Hillary Clinton standing by her husband - bad thing. Maria Shriver standing by her husband - good thing.

-Atrios

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